K is for Kin. #AtoZChallenge on #Wellness

There is a group of whacked up people, who think they know everything about your life. They won’t hesitate to stick their nose in your beeswax. Ever so often they come with outrageous demands on your time, finances, and personal belongings. Your house, your car, your underwear all in jeopardy. This, due to people who are known as your:
K

Kin.

What? Did you think you are the only one with crazy relatives?
The people we have in our close circles shaped our opinions as we grew up. It is their views, which matter most to us in our daily life. Their love or deprivation thereof contributes to our subconscious confidence or lack thereof. Like it or not, their footprints have left an imprint on our mind, habits and mannerisms. When it comes to wellness, our kin defiantly deserves a dedicated post. In fact, there are many books on the subject. So what is it? What drives us so insanely dissatisfied with the people in our life?

For now, let me look past the people with abusive natures. Whose very presence is toxic to our being! I am not talking about these people, although I may have a few healing thoughts for you on this subject at the end of this post.

I am talking about the everyday person whom you just cannot seem to get on with. Variety is the spice of life. People come in all types of shapes, sizes, colors. Even more so, we all have our own personally traits. Some of us are loud while others are quiet. Some are introverts. Some are extroverts. Some of us like reading. Some of us hate it. Some prefer Trump to Obama (yikes, I know!)

getting-along-with-familyChocolate versus Vanilla

I like chocolate while my husband prefers vanilla. Even this can cause a debate about the preferred choice in dessert. Just imagine everyone favored chocolate? How boring would our dessert choices be? Always just chocolate can get a bit too much chocolate-y if you know what I mean. What about Banana-split? What about Crème brûlée, cheesecake, lemon meringue pie, melktert or malva pudding? Seriously, the list is endless. All are wonderful delights.

We can accept a Bana-split for what it is. We do not expect it to taste like chocolate brownies. In the same manner, we must be accepting of people’s differences. People show love and appreciation in different manners. Finding out how someone shows his or her affection may go a long way in bettering relationships.

Expectations

Additionally, having fewer expectations of people will lead to fewer disappointments. Every one of us has our own struggles to deal with. Do not envy someone. Do not compare yourself to someone else. You do not know what goes on in this person’s mind and life every minute of every day.

Boundaries

This leads me to another point. Boundaries. Sometimes the expectations other people have of you are too much to handle. Set boundaries. You do not always need to say yes. If you find it unreasonable that people loan your car for the weekend, you have the right to say so. If they can’t accept this it is their problem, not yours.

Pedestals

Finally yet importantly, sometimes we need to remove certain people from the pedestals that they have taken up in our minds and hearts. Even our parents, mentors and spiritual leaders are just people. Human beings. They have their own faults and weaknesses. They have their own character traits. They too have their own day-to-day struggles.

Seeing human beings exactly for what they are, that is human beings – will give you more peace in your own heart. Even those toxic people have struggled. Perhaps there are past abuses in their own life, from which they never recovered. I am not saying open yourself up to future torment; you have a right to set boundaries. However, just accepting the humanness of a person can have a healing effect in your own past hurts.

 

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

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