Does size matter?

“If you could have only one option: Do you like it thick or long?” Yes, I’m talking about sex here. Yes, I’m talking about the male anatomy. And yes, that is an actual question a dude asked me a very long while ago. A blog post by my friend Lizzi : Body shaming; a teenie-weenie-peenie paradox, reminded me of the conversation.

Lizzi points to an article where there is a contest for the smallest penis!!! *facepalm* My option: there is something wrong with the world today!

While body shaming is usually aimed at women, I think the contest organizers were trying to point this at men instead. Do you really think you can right some wrongs like that? Sadly, while the idea may have presented some heated debate I think people have still not figured out what is wrong with society.

So what did the 19-year-old I have to say to the dude who asked me whether I preferred it thick or long? “Neither, it’s about technique.”  I stand by that statement. However, it goes much deeper than that. Why has it become important in society today, whether your assets both male and female are a certain way, in this case – big? Is that really the merit upon which we choose our mates?

What makes a person attractive?

Here is my personal list:

  • Intelligence
  • Compassion
  • Sense of humor
  • And the big one, the really important one (okay it’s two), respect and acceptance.

Respect and acceptance. Isn’t that what we should all give each other? In a partner or friend, those are the most important attributes. Respect me, and accept me as I am. That means you accept my tiny bust and even find them attractive.  You accept my character flaws the way I accept yours. When we make love we do so respectfully. We think about the other’s comfort, satisfaction, and not just our own.

The problem with the big peter

If Mother Nature bestowed a huge peter upon Peter, it tends to give Peter a big head. Society teaches him to assume that he is God’s gift to women. If this assumption is based purely on the size of his male member, he is grossly mistaken. He falsely assumes every woman should have sex with him just because. If she doesn’t, he starts screaming insults such as “prude”. But, seriously Peter, why would a woman even want to have sex with a guy that thinks only of his own satisfaction and does not even respect her? In case you have not guessed it, the answer is: She would not.

I was recently disgusted with my countries male politicians. While on state visit, an influential regional leader was showed pictures of the countries single ladies. Yea, just pick whomever you want like the dessert on a food menu. Of cause, that story never made it to the media outlets. I’m not naming anyone, because I have no proof of it. One of the lady’s in question declined, asking them if they thought her a whore. Still, the disrespect of it.  More disturbing is that some women will go along with that. They would be happy about being invited to the party with the “celebrity”.

When we as women laugh at some man’s smaller penis, we condone being treated like mere sexual objects. We tell Peter, that indeed he is correct in his assumption. We become part of the problem. We become part of “them” and “they” that make up the unit dubbed “society”.

There is nothing laughable about a small penis. If the man in question feels happy enough with his anatomy to display it to the world then applause to him.

Not every guy is like Peter

Thankfully, not all men are alike. Very many men do treat woman with respect and love. It is also probable that the good and kind men of this world have male members, which come in all types and sizes.

The desire to have bigger boobs or a larger penis may mean the person is unhappy about a part of himself or herself. There is nothing shameful about small assets. Neither is changing your anatomy by either surgery or pills. If such an act makes you as a person happier and does not financially paralyze you, then go for it. However, do it for the right reasons. Mister or Misses Right will not appear on your doorstep merely based on a body alteration. If he loves you because you have bigger breasts, then it is not love. Neither is it love if she seems irresistibly impressed by a big pecker.

We should choose our partners based on more than the size of their private body parts or other physical attributes. The value of a person lies in their heart. Their soul. Their shining spark. Sex between two consenting adults should be a respectful and mutually pleasurable act of connection.

Moreover, as adverse I am to admitting it, each and every one of us makes up a unit of the “them”. If there are enough of us that stop acting like the rest, we as a society, can move away from the materialistic thought pattern. We can learn to respect each other. Over a space of time the grotesque treatment of fellow human beings, would not be something to overlook, something normal, or something to laugh at. It would and should be considered unacceptable.

Namaste: The Divine light in me acknowledges the Divine light in you.


About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:




Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


5 thoughts on “Does size matter?”

  1. The size and content of a person’s heart is what is important – their heart and soul. As far as body shaming with penis size, it is as old as humanity. Leaders in the middle ages used cod pieces to appear bigger. I actually see less of it now than I did when I was a kid a few decades ago. It might be that I now hang with more mature people, but even when I listen in to the young folk it doesn’t seem to be as big of a topic.


    1. That is an interesting historical fact. The cod piece would then be the male equivalent of the female corsette. And yes you are spot on. It’s the size of a person’s heart which matters. Perhaps age is indeed a factor if people care about that sort of thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah, I know, I know, it’s not meant to matter if we’re too fat or too the-wrong-shape and someone who loves us for our physical attributes doesn’t love us properly, but what if it’s US who doesn’t love our physical attributes? Why should we consider that anyone else ought to, if we don’t ourselves?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We look at ourselves with in a completely different light than other people do.
      And for each person that is a completely individual question.
      I’ve now written three responses and still it does not come out right. Might require an extra blog post for this one. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s