How to overcome relationship disaster taught to us by bedtime stories

“I also want to marry a prince,” my five-year old said when I finished reading her a bedtime story. It does not really matter which one, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty all have a common plot. In the end Prince Perfect shows up and rescues the damsel.

two porcelain frogs

Is it then really such a huge surprise that we create this expectation of a perfect partner in our growing children, even one called Prince? When I was growing up there were two such princes. One is called Prince Harry, the other Prince William. I’m of cause referring to Princess Diana’s two boys, one who will inherit the British royal throne. I clearly remember telling my father “that’s the one I’ll marry one day,” while watching the Telly. And realize I live half way across the globe, in the middle of nowhere Southern Africa.

It is a fairytale and at some point we realize that Prince Perfect does not exist. Or do we?

I had a discussion with an unmarried colleague the other day. There was a debate about whether one should be married or not.

“I guess I’ll never get married,” she said and paused. “I just always have this idea of the perfect man in my head and they always disappoint me.”

If this is you at nearly forty, then well I hate to break it to you. Yes, they are going to disappoint you. Why? Because, not even Prince William is perfect.

Such expectations in relationships are dangerous things. They set up the relationship to fail. And some of us take a very long time, if ever to find this truth.

So if you are still singing like Fairground Attraction (that’s a music group), that, “it’s got to be Perfect”, perhaps you need to change your tune.

Mister wrong is not necessarily wrong, because he is not perfect. He may be wrong, because you have an unrealistic expectation. You can’t change someone to meet your expectations.

Imagine someone has that expectation of you. My brother, poor guy, who grew up with two sisters used to say he’d only ever date the perfect woman. This lady, needed to always look pretty, never pass gas – of any kind, be polite. Did I mention she was not allowed to perform disgusting bodily functions such as pass gass? Oh yea. It’s right there. Basically he was describing a robot.

Here’s the thing. Mister right may not be perfect. Neither are you. But, maybe , just maybe you are perfect for each other.

*Frog image by:  –   Alexas_Fotos-686414

p.s. This post has been the eleventh day of ‘it does not need to be perfect’, a series I’m currently running on this here blog.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


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