30 Days to grieve

“The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days until the time of weeping and mourning was over.” The Bible, Deuteronomy 34:8

Upon the loss of a loved one, one should mourn for 30 days. Only.
It’s a biblical ideal which comes from the old testament where the Israelites mourned the death of Moses for a period of 30 days. The same period of mourning is recorded for the death of Aaron, who was the brother of Moses.
It seems like a very short period, but the prescribed mourning period in another popular religion is 3 days, only.

I’ve seen the bitter, lifetime torment grief can cage a person in. So I get the principal.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: …
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, …”
The Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:4

feather and teardops

But what about if you are not only grieving the loss of one loved person, but two? What about if these people were ripped from you, stolen? What if you not only lost two pivotal figures in your support network, but also your home or at least second home… your home away from home? Never mind all the material possessions, but all the emotions which are attached to these. What if? Do you get an extra 30 days for each?

My husband and I sat down with my daughter, in what seems like yesterday to tell her what no five-year-old should have to hear. I was trying to be strong. But when she looked at me, seeming to question how to react to the news we had just given her, I could not help but, cry. It is then when she too started weeping. Oh we told her, grandma and grandpa had gone to heaven to be with God, which seems kind of beautiful. Our truth is, that within this lifetime none of us will ever see those loved ones again.

And just as my daughter questioned how she should react, I’ve gone to read up on how I should act, in this time. Some days, it seems so unreal. Some days I’ve succumbed to weeping. Other days I’m simply pissed off, at the entire world. Some days it seems like all the above rolled into one. And the thirty day mark has come and gone.

In Genesis 50, there is a mention of a mourning period of seventy days. The time frame thus seems to be subjective. Although grieving is a part of life, not much of it is mentioned in organized religion. It seems like the taboo subject. Western culture dictates to take a week to get the burial of your loved ones organized and then move the hell on. But how exactly you are supposed to do that, no one can tell you.

How do you manage to not let that swallow you whole?
My questions are rhetorical. I expect no answers. For as many unique individuals there are, there would be many unique answers. I have no idea, how we are going to manage, without these beloved whom we have depended on for so many things.

I only know that each day you put one foot in-front of the other…

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Jesus (the Bible, Matthew 5:4)

 

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