Category Archives: Society and Social Networking

What to say, when bad things happen to good people…

Most people are going through something. We get up in the morning, drink our coffee, get it together, and go. We do our jobs, attend to our duties, and the next day we do it all over again, leaving no one wiser of the turmoil inside. A strange thing happened the other day. I found myself in conversation with someone I hardly knew. By some odd twist, this person opened up to me and told me what was currently going on.

When bad things happen to good people, it leaves us dumbstruck. What do you say to someone, whose entire world changed in a cruel blink of an eye?

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I said and this person continued.
“That is terrible, and I can relate,” I said as I also exchanged some of my own experience.
And simply by listening and being compassionate I believe, I may have left this person feeling somewhat better.

Bad things. Good people.looking out of lonly window

 

In January of this year, my parents in law were murdered at their farm home. The culprit then burnt the house down to the ground. It’s a case which was splattered across our local newspapers for several weeks.

Very often of late, I’ve had the feeling someone did not want to speak to me because they did not know what to say to all the terribleness.

“It just felt wrong calling,” my insurance lady confessed when I asked her if she had read about the things which have recently re-shaped my life. If I hadn’t needed her to re-assess our portfolio, I would not have mentioned it at all.

But, what if …

Anger is all I can muster when someone tells me their devastating life story in an effort to manipulate me into getting what they want. It gives me no joy, making anybody feel guilty about things outside their control.

But it’s not about that.

Some friendships go down the drain because the person not going through the bad situation does not know what to say.

When it comes from a genuine place of kindness, it’s not so difficult.
So, what do you say, when you don’t know what to say?

It’s simple you start by saying, “hello.”
And the key is, you don’t stop saying, “hello.”

So, if you have a friend going through a tough time, don’t stop talking. Yes, there may be times when your friend won’t feel like company. There will be times of silence and of tears. And it is okay. For everything, there is a season. A time to laugh, a time to cry.

Compassion isn’t feeling guilty. It isn’t about judgment. It is feeling sad and angry in empathy with others suffering. It is an understanding that listening, and if appropriate hugging, are actions which do something about the turmoil another is facing.

Advertisements

The Label we forget

“Above all, she is a human being”

Bloggers, we sometimes do a weird thing. We refer to ourselves in the third person. Especially when we are writing an “about the author” section of a post or blog. It’s a style thing.

In that same breath, have you ever checked the bio section in twitter? Any Social Media really. There is this phenomenon. You can even see it in the C. V.’s sent to companies, when people apply for jobs. The entire person get’s condensed into a few words, which we commonly refer to as a label.

Just scroll down, and you will see my own third person account of myself. Check my Twitter bio.

twitter_bio

There’s one label I fell we so often leave out. It’s the label: human being.

I guess it’s a given, an obvious fact. It’s an overlooked fact. However much I may seem as a hero, however much I may seem like a failure I am still a human being.

human_quote

 

***

This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.

NanoPoblano 2017

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

Spotlight fever

The stage is dark. The curtains have just been raised. There we are. An echoing thump jolts our heart to full alertness. Standing there completely alone, you are not aware of me. I’m not aware of you. We are not aware of us. The blinding light seems to amplify our thumping chest. Sweat drips down our forehead. The sound of the plummeting moisture seems to be amplified. Our voice – there is no sound. An inaudible squeak. Suddenly, the light in the dark auditorium is switched on.
We can see the audience. But there is no one there. There is no we. I am alone. And no one cares that I’m afraid. No one saw the blunder. Witnessed only by the light, which passed me no judgment.

Social Media seems to have amplified, those who can see our mistakes. The other day a thought passed through my mind. What if that post goes viral? It certainly had all the makings of a viral post, and for a second my heart jolted into full alertness. And in that moment I knew. The post won’t go viral. Not only does my blog not have that kind of traction, but I’m not ready. Not my writing is not ready. I’m not. And I’m also not saying my writing is flawless, cause it is defiantly flawed, but it’s not horrid either. I took a deep breath and relaxed.

It never ceases to disgust me, what kind of poison goes virtually viral, these days – especially in these parts. Children being abused by their Nanny – caught on a Nanny cam. A drunk young woman … I’m not even going to finish that sentence. What’s even more disturbing is the reaction people have. The way we blame and shame. We judge as if we were flawless. Perhaps my content just does not have that shock factor. But if something did go viral, I know there’d be trolls that come knocking.

Painted_Face

The other day a white lady posted something on Facebook. I only mention her skin-color because it is pivotal to the story. I’ll call a spade a spade and not call her Caucasian. While she certainly is Caucasian, here we’d refer to her as a white lady. Apartheid was still within my lifetime. Some of my peers can still remember the UNO coming to their class declaring, “everyone is now equal”.

The white lady posted something on Facebook which caused a big up-stir. In a status update, she mentioned that she had just witnessed a black man taking a white person’s dog for a walk. i.e. She thought this dog to be stolen. She put on her number so that anybody who was missing this dog could ask for more information. I never saw this post myself, but it was big in our local headlines.

Obviously, the first question to ask would be, how does she know the dog belonged to a white person?

Here’s the thing – she never meant to hurt anybody or make such a racist remark. She was guilty of ignorance only and perhaps having experienced something traumatic.

What went viral, was not her Facebook post – it was the recorded call a woman made to her. The other woman who had a British type of accent, called the white lady to ask about the dog. Firstly the British accent woman asked the white woman, how she knew the dog belonged to a white person. When the latter responded that one could simply see it, in that the dog seemed well cared for. The British accent woman referred to the “missing” dog as a Bitch throughout the conversation and ended the call by calling the white woman a Bitch. Honestly, she was very mean and seemed only to want to ridicule the white woman. Goal achieved. Everyone was laughing. The white woman later needed to switch off her phone due to all the harassment she was receiving.

Online bullying at it’s best!

If you read the article in the newspaper, you’d  find out why the white woman made such an ignorant post. At one point, some of her pet dogs were stolen. They only found the paws of these animals – whom she assumed had been eaten. Still no sympathy?

Yes, I hear you. We should be sympathetic to the people who have not enough food and thus eat dogs and cats. Poverty, it is a huge problem. But can you spare no sympathy for this woman, who happens to be married to a colored man (that’s someone of mixed heritage)?

In the newspaper article, the white lady apologized for her blunder. I doubt anyone was listening or reading for that matter. The article, after all, did not go viral. Only the phone call was broadcast to everyone—thanks to WhatsApp.

lettingGoSilouette

Which brings me back to the spotlight fever. What are we shining the light on? Sometimes an issue is much larger than the one part we highlight.

In my example, there were many issues. I mentioned: poverty, racism, online bullying, ignorance and a lack of general empathy. Depending on our own life experiences, we may have focused on only one of these. We may have been enraged at the white woman’s audacity. How could she think, people of a dark skin tone can’t take good care of their pets? It served her right to be treated by the British accent lady like that. It served her right, to be harassed. She should be, belittled for her mistake.

Or perhaps like me, you saw the lack of empathy people have shown. And you hope to all that is good, the spotlight which accentuates all your flaws, never falls on you. Just be careful what you say.

I was so afraid to even use the terms “white lady” & “black man”, even though they fit the frame of this story. Obviously, I still live in a world with many racial divides. I tend to see the cultural differences as beautiful, something to be proud of. Treat everyone with respect, is the kind of value I try to model to my children. However, in this world, you need to be politically correct – always. Or rather just keep your mouth shut.

What gives you the right to speak? Except for the light. It demanded something more than an inaudible squeak.

*above images credit to pixabay

 This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.

NanoPoblano 2017

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

What women want

Back in 2000, Mel Gibson starred in a movie titled “What Women Want.”
Gibson played the Alpha male, heterosexual man’s man with way too big of an ego called Nick Marshall. Nick gets bypassed for a promotion in favor of a woman. Problem is, while Nick may know how to get into a woman’s pants, better than any man alive he does not know what women want. Since he works for an advertising agency which needs to land a women’s brand contract, these pivotal question men have been asking for millennia is a must know to get the coveted job. In steps, Darcy McGuire played by Helen Hunt. One night in a desperate plight to understand why he was overlooked for the higher paying, corner office job, Nick tries on a bunch of women products and gets himself electrocuted. When he wakes up, he can suddenly hear the thoughts of all women.

Whatwomenwant

Hence the stage is set for a romantic comedy, riddled with society’s clichés. It’s these clichés which make us laugh. We laugh at our own idiotic manner. Here we are a couple of years later and men still don’t know – what women want.

It’s this question this blog post will proceed to answer. Yes, I go with a single article where many a book have gone before. I’ll shrink it down in one universal, simple solution. Because after all, I am a woman. And there is one thing, so simple, so obvious it’s overlooked by many. It doesn’t matter what tone of skin she was born in, what continent she hails from. It doesn’t matter whether she’s an LA socialite or an African Mama, raising seven kids. Stop looking at your FaceBook and Twitter feeds for just a while, so I can show you this ageless secret. The secret of what women want, neigh what they crave.

But before I impart this timeless wisdom upon you, I would like to touch on the recent feminist hash-tag craze, #MeToo. Those watching my timeline may have noticed that I did not write #MeToo on my FaceBook page or wall. Neither did I tweet it nor up until this point, some time after all the hype has passed – even mention it.

Let me be clear, I as every other woman on this planet could have written that phrase on all my Social Media accounts in a big ugly bold font. And if I had put it on my Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook page, both of my Facebook walls, Pinterest and newly opened Ello page – I could have been referring to a different incident in each case. In actual fact given some thought, I could have come up with instances to put it on the Social Media I don’t have an account with, too.

The reason why I’ve held my tong is two-fold. For one, I don’t follow a craze – just because everyone else is doing it. The entire Internet was flooded with two words. A vital discussion indeed, but not the only problem in this world.

The other is that many of these #MeToo posts, status updates and the like are triggering to many people. Like everyone else who’s a frequent internet user, I read many of these posts. I read them and then some. I felt sorrow. I read many of the comments too. I saw so many bleeding hearts. But I also saw some trying to take the opportunity to inflate their already over-large ego. It may have been something you only notice if you looked at the trend, with some distance.

So I decided to tweet and write this on my FaceBook page, instead:

I really hoped those words would not be painful and triggering to the heart. However, after some contemplation, I realized that for some they may have been exactly that. You never know what may be triggering to someone. And if you are that someone, I apologize. Never the less, those words, hold true, in a very personal nonreligious way.

You may now have gotten agitated. In one moment I was going to reveal the biggest mystery to mankind, in the next I was discussing a feminist social media craze. These things are related. Because if men knew and gave women what they want, if indeed each and everyone one of us gave each and every one of us this very same thing, which is not restricted to what women want, but is something each human being wants – then we would not have had this hash-tag exploding across Social Media. #MeToo and all other similar hash-tags which have come before and will come again will be resolved with this one simple solution.

What women want, what I want, what you want, what we want, what each and every one of us craves – whether we are rich or poor, whichever tone of skin or gender we were born in, it is universal to us all.

What women want is . . .

RESPECT.

Respect that she is not just tits and that thing between her legs. She is no lifeless doll.
Respect that she does not want to fear hunger, violence, pain or humiliation.
Respect that she does not want to be cold or alone.
Respect that she has her own mind, talents, and failings.
Respect that her body belongs to herself as does her life.
Respect that like you, she is human. I am human. We are human.

Talk to her like a human. Treat her like a human.

Stripped from all the clutter we have surrounded ourselves with we are each just human. That makes you or I no better or worse than anyone else, whether they be man, woman or child. While we may be better or worse off than someone else we are no better.

Respect encompasses equality and compassion. It does not say I am better than, but instead, acknowledges we are all in this together.

This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.

NanoPoblano 2017

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

What song best describes you?

“Are you one of the beautiful people?

Is my name on the list?

Want to be of the beautiful people, wanna feel like I’m missed.”

Lyrics from the song, Guest List by Eels

Trying to fit in: I try. I try. I try. I fail. I grew up, I tried again. I failed again. I gave up and held myself content with not standing out. At some point you come to realize that you will never be on “that” list. And you know what?

That’s okay.

Most day’s I’ve come to accept myself as a beautiful freak.

When you stop trying to fit into some predefined list, a list created by other people – you can start to fit in with you. You don’t need to run after the latest trend, whether that be the latest fashion trend, the latest food craze or the latest online hashtag trend.

“You do you. I do me.”

And while “you do you, I do me,” is not originally my slogan, it’s a pop culture trend I can get behind.

This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

Word of the day – satire

As most other bloggers, I write this blog because I’m bored and can’t find a better pass time. To indulge my craving to fill this blog with something else than chocolate, I’ve let slip this ‘word of the day feature’. It’s not like people can easily open the dictionary and discover words for themselves.

Not to mention, after twelve years of schooling most English-speaking humans, are proficient in the usage of the word – ‘satire’. It’s one I was faced with in a History class, which most of my classmates loved. Memorizing things, to repeat them like a parrot during exam time, undoubtedly prepares you for the real world. Spoon feeding truly helps you develop independent thought.

And then, you enter the friendly world of FaceBook. You read something strange on Reddit. Perhaps one of your peers decides to mix things up and posts an internet meme, instead of a selfie on Snapchat or Instagram. Or some Vlogger’s video goes viral on What’s App. At first you think it’s kind of funny, but don’t get it. Suddenly you are forced to do something which you have never done before. Your own mind has to wrap itself around a complex joke. She was joking, right?

frogReadingFaceBook

Writing satire as you can see by my inapt attempt there (in the first two paragraphs), is not all that easy—although to some people it comes as natural as breathing. I’m not one of them, but I enjoy reading the art-form. Yes, it is an art-form, to construct words in such a manner they poke fun at society in constructive criticism. Satire is another way to convey an opinion and focuses on the writers observation on society, politics and such.

A well-constructed satire will force the audience to some internal reflection. The modern day satire it is not restricted to writing. Satire can also be in form of a comic strip, a video, lyrics, an internet meme.

The official definition from ‘the Concise Oxford Dictionary, 7th Edition, first printed in 1982,’ is:

“satire n. 1. composition in verse or prose ridiculing vice or folly or lampooning individual(s), this branch of literature, thing that brings ridicule upon something (our lives are a satire upon our religion); use of ridicule, irony, sarcasm, etc., in speech or writing to expose or discourage vice or folly.

2. poetic medley, esp. Poem ridiculing prevalent vices or follies.”

“Eish”, remind me to never quote that dictionary again. One needs another dictionary to define that which has already been defined.

I think Wikipedia in this case is easier understood:

“Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purposes is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.”

Wikipedia continues and explains that a feature of satires are they use sarcasm and irony. They also feature exaggeration, utilize words in such a manner they could have a double meaning (double entrendre) and show comparisons.

Let me show you a few examples….

Satires have really been exploding all over the internet lately.

This video, has been making the rounds. It criticize our use of Social Media to find the perfect partner.

Madam and Eve, is a local comic strip which is printed in newspapers and can be bought in special edition books. The illustrator is brilliant. This specific one has been doing the rounds via What’s App. In it he compares South African President, Jacob Zuma to American President, Donald Trump. It’s a comparison most people in the region have been making since Trump came into office.

(Please note, I don’t have copy right on the above material. I display it as “fair use” as an embed from their respective fan page. )

There are many, many more examples. I thought I’d sample some of the more light hearted ones. With the recent feminist hash-tag making the rounds, I found some vile comments from people who clearly did not understand that the author was writing a satire or was using sarcasm.

NanoPoblano 2017

This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO / NaBloPoMo.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

How to overcome relationship disaster taught to us by bedtime stories

“I also want to marry a prince,” my five-year old said when I finished reading her a bedtime story. It does not really matter which one, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty all have a common plot. In the end Prince Perfect shows up and rescues the damsel.

two porcelain frogs

Is it then really such a huge surprise that we create this expectation of a perfect partner in our growing children, even one called Prince? When I was growing up there were two such princes. One is called Prince Harry, the other Prince William. I’m of cause referring to Princess Diana’s two boys, one who will inherit the British royal throne. I clearly remember telling my father “that’s the one I’ll marry one day,” while watching the Telly. And realize I live half way across the globe, in the middle of nowhere Southern Africa.

It is a fairytale and at some point we realize that Prince Perfect does not exist. Or do we?

I had a discussion with an unmarried colleague the other day. There was a debate about whether one should be married or not.

“I guess I’ll never get married,” she said and paused. “I just always have this idea of the perfect man in my head and they always disappoint me.”

If this is you at nearly forty, then well I hate to break it to you. Yes, they are going to disappoint you. Why? Because, not even Prince William is perfect.

Such expectations in relationships are dangerous things. They set up the relationship to fail. And some of us take a very long time, if ever to find this truth.

So if you are still singing like Fairground Attraction (that’s a music group), that, “it’s got to be Perfect”, perhaps you need to change your tune.

Mister wrong is not necessarily wrong, because he is not perfect. He may be wrong, because you have an unrealistic expectation. You can’t change someone to meet your expectations.

Imagine someone has that expectation of you. My brother, poor guy, who grew up with two sisters used to say he’d only ever date the perfect woman. This lady, needed to always look pretty, never pass gas – of any kind, be polite. Did I mention she was not allowed to perform disgusting bodily functions such as pass gass? Oh yea. It’s right there. Basically he was describing a robot.

Here’s the thing. Mister right may not be perfect. Neither are you. But, maybe , just maybe you are perfect for each other.

*Frog image by: https://pixabay.com  –   Alexas_Fotos-686414

p.s. This post has been the eleventh day of ‘it does not need to be perfect’, a series I’m currently running on this here blog.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:

instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

We can fix society, one story at a time

The screen is cracked. The screen of my cell phone, which I’m currently using to create this post, that is. Like a hideous spider web, it obscures my vision. Already used to the broken fragment, I swiped on.

With cell phones being so fragile, I’ve seen many a person walk 🚶 around with the same kind of blemish. Odd how quickly we adapt. We accept as normal. And I’m not just talking about the inconsequential cracked cellphone screen. Obvious. Maybe not.
After all, if everyone is doing it – then it is perfectly acceptable. I’m not just talking about drugs here. So if everyone comes to work late, it becomes perfectly acceptable to be late, each and every morning. Before your boss has whipped out his eyes, the company culture has changed.

child blowing bubble earth

What’s the big-y about culture?

Culture is something which governs our actions. What we find acceptable. What shocks us. How we react to things. This is why buzzwords such as ‘rape-culture’ are so big in our online discussions. What’s more, culture is formed by the collective experiences. I.e. What we believe, how we react to life is filtered by our past experiences. 

Did you know that storytelling creates experiences? Yes, and not just from a writer’s perspective. It only takes two different stories with a similar outcome to convince someone to rethink how they react towards that type of outcome. Two similar tales spun, and someone has gained a different experience. This in turn will not only determine his own perception, but changes the way others in the community think and act.

Think about that, for two tics.

Your stories, whether written or spoken can influence how someone else perceives the world. I’d like to hope all of us aren’t that impressionable. While stories may be used for the force of good, often they are used for the dark side.  How quickly your mind can change really depends on our point of reference. Your upbringing and your experiences.

Let’s say you are a woman. You hear from a friend about a guy whom you have never met, let’s call him Joe. Joe charmed your friend out of her socks, but got bored pretty quickly.
A few weeks later, another friend tells you she went on a date with Joe, but after a great night he never returned her calls. A random night out, you meet this Joe. Would you not approach Joe with caution? Perhaps avoid Joe altogether? What about if you met someone completely different who reminds you of Joe?
You get where I’m going here. Your friends shared experience, has become somewhat your own.

See how easy stories influence us?

If one guy gets away with a certain conduct, the next one will try a similar thing. Soon it becomes common.
Like my cracked cellphone screen, as a society we all too conveniently find some things acceptable.
I really don’t want to go into all the heartbreaking things this world has found acceptable. As mentioned, it’s sometimes the little things, such as coming to work late which rob us.

Sometimes, it takes some real strong-willed determination, not to do what everyone else finds perfectly acceptable.

The impact these stories of such strong-willed determination have on our society is sometimes the only thing that stands between us and degradation, impoverishment of the human condition.

Why? Because these uplifting stories give us a new point of reference.

While I’ve been terribly philosophical with this post, which certainly would have benefited in me being more specific, I hope it has at least given you some food for thought. Now, go forth and shine.

This post has been the tenth day of it does not need to be perfect a series I’m currently writing on this blog.

*child blowing bubble picture courtesy of pixabay.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

In the age of Social Media, is the fear of rejection keeping us from genuine friendships?

I have a love-hate relationship with Social Media. On the one hand, I realize how toxic Facebook, Twitter and their comrades can be. On the other, used correctly Social Media can be a tool to help us grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally. In this ever-speeding society, Social Media can help us keep in touch. It can help us make new friends.

Some time ago I was surfing Facebook when I came across a post in a group, by one of my high-school friends. We are not friends on Facebook. In contradiction to my better judgment, I hoped over to this woman’s Facebook wall. Since I was not ‘friends’ with her I could only see what she has shared publicly.
What I found was some stunning array of profile pictures. Damn! After some ten plus years, she looked even hotter than before. There were some pictures of her skydiving and others of her looking good in some stunning scenery.

I admit that the big ugly green-eyed monster immediately assaulted me. I’m carrying around 30 plus kilograms from when I was in high school. I hardly ever leave my dull monotonous spaces and apart from that one time – I defiantly don’t go around doing extreme sports. Sh*t, to anyone looking in from the outside, my life is pretty much mundane and boring.

The fact of the matter is that I don’t go sharing much of the mundane and boring things online. In all honesty, since I’ve starting using What’s App, I’ve shared very little of anything personal on open sites such as FaceBook and Twitter. While there is certainly a measured degree of vulnerability to the things I write on this blog, it is camouflaged by the persona behind which I hide.

To make it as a good writer, it takes a certain type of finesse and courage to be vulnerable in a genuine and especially non-attention seeking manner.

As Paul Gallico put it:

“It is only when you open your veins and bleed onto the page a little that you establish contact with your reader.”

Perhaps this is why so many of us, writers, hide behind a pen name. While writers hide behind a pseudonym, people, in general, hide behind an invisible mask. A façade.

How many of us are governed by our fear of rejection?

In today’s society, we want to it appear we lead the ideal life. We would like to say; “Look at my FaceBook hall of fame.” Thus, we share only that which would gain us the validation we seek from our family and peers. Whether on or off-line, we talk about and share only that, which would entice, entertain and solicit amazement.

“I patted an ostrich on the back.”
“I went skydiving”
“My kid/pet did the cutest thing”

We share only life’s highlights. We make it seem that our life consists of sparkly high notes. Forget those mundane, gray things. Erase those downright dark and dreary things. It is almost as, if there were no public record of these things, they did not exist.  We somehow hope that people who were friends or lovers in the past look at our timeline with a certain longing envy. This is my life! This is me!

I am a liar.

Because life is not perfect. I am not perfect. Nobody is perfect, not even Tom Cruise, J.K. Rowling or the Queen of England.

This mask only comes off, when we really get to know someone. Underneath their perfect, we find an authentic human being. Underneath their perfect, we can see someone as they are. Only when we choose to love each other underneath our perfect, is a friendship or relationship worth having, genuine and beautiful. Underneath our perfect is where the true connection lies.

Ironically, we often seek this connection when we venture out into the world of Social Media, when we go sit in a pub, or when we try to impress someone at school or work.

We fear to say, “this is me, accept me as I am.”
We fail to realize, “I am enough.”

 

p.s. This post has been the ninth day of ‘it does not need to be perfect’, a series I’m currently running on this here blog.

 

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagrampinterestfacebook

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers

Learn to be more #mindful with a free online tool – #Instagram

Have you checked me out on Instagram? Not? I’ve been finding this Social Media platform most useful. Although I must confess, when I first joined I did so solely that I can ‘online stalk’ someone there too.

I mean that (online stalking) in the most positive light of those two words. Cause let’s face it; some online personalities literally ask you to follow them everywhere. Most of these people, who are obsessed with the collection of followers, usually label themselves: blogger, writer, social-media-butterfly or all of the ‘above’. You get the type?

Any-hoe, I decided why ever not? After all,  Instagram was the perfect platform for my new endeavor, which was to post one motivational picture per day. Alas, it was yet another New Years resolution I could not keep. Here we are a year and some months later and I’ve been getting back on Instagram. You could say I’ve newly discovered my cellphone camera. The truth is a bit deeper than that.

Inspiration is all around us. Instagram is a free, fast and easy tool to share that inspiration with the world. In a mission to have something to share on that platform, I’ve become more mindful of my surroundings. It is often the small things in life that we overlook.

Sometimes the inspiration does not come in a neatly wrapped photogenic scene. Sometimes a little editing or creation of a picture is required.

One crisp morning the very first words I heard as I switched on my car radio were these: “What are you waiting for?”

It is quite amazing what happens when we merely pay attention to our present tense moment. Yes, mindfulness.

The little angel figurine which hangs on my bedroom mirror ‘prompted’ me to share something, after I’d not done so for a few days. A newly discovered photo-editing app and a recently watched You Tube video lead to this snippet:

Perhaps this post is a change of perspective, you were not expecting.

View this post on Instagram

Life is a journey.

A post shared by Sarina (@shiningseeds) on

No, it’s not all selfies up in there. As I said on a recent post, it is all about how you use a platform. In an attempt to look for the beauty in the mundane, some of my friends post stunning landscape, city-scape and nature pictures.

So, what are you waiting for? Come check out @shiningseeds on Instagram and let your own surroundings inspire you.

*This post has been the seventh day of ‘it does not need to be perfect‘, a series currently running on this blog.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


instagramfacebook

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,067 other followers