Tag Archives: axiety

Spotlight fever

The stage is dark. The curtains have just been raised. There we are. An echoing thump jolts our heart to full alertness. Standing there completely alone, you are not aware of me. I’m not aware of you. We are not aware of us. The blinding light seems to amplify our thumping chest. Sweat drips down our forehead. The sound of the plummeting moisture seems to be amplified. Our voice – there is no sound. An inaudible squeak. Suddenly, the light in the dark auditorium is switched on.
We can see the audience. But there is no one there. There is no we. I am alone. And no one cares that I’m afraid. No one saw the blunder. Witnessed only by the light, which passed me no judgment.

Social Media seems to have amplified, those who can see our mistakes. The other day a thought passed through my mind. What if that post goes viral? It certainly had all the makings of a viral post, and for a second my heart jolted into full alertness. And in that moment I knew. The post won’t go viral. Not only does my blog not have that kind of traction, but I’m not ready. Not my writing is not ready. I’m not. And I’m also not saying my writing is flawless, cause it is defiantly flawed, but it’s not horrid either. I took a deep breath and relaxed.

It never ceases to disgust me, what kind of poison goes virtually viral, these days – especially in these parts. Children being abused by their Nanny – caught on a Nanny cam. A drunk young woman … I’m not even going to finish that sentence. What’s even more disturbing is the reaction people have. The way we blame and shame. We judge as if we were flawless. Perhaps my content just does not have that shock factor. But if something did go viral, I know there’d be trolls that come knocking.


The other day a white lady posted something on Facebook. I only mention her skin-color because it is pivotal to the story. I’ll call a spade a spade and not call her Caucasian. While she certainly is Caucasian, here we’d refer to her as a white lady. Apartheid was still within my lifetime. Some of my peers can still remember the UNO coming to their class declaring, “everyone is now equal”.

The white lady posted something on Facebook which caused a big up-stir. In a status update, she mentioned that she had just witnessed a black man taking a white person’s dog for a walk. i.e. She thought this dog to be stolen. She put on her number so that anybody who was missing this dog could ask for more information. I never saw this post myself, but it was big in our local headlines.

Obviously, the first question to ask would be, how does she know the dog belonged to a white person?

Here’s the thing – she never meant to hurt anybody or make such a racist remark. She was guilty of ignorance only and perhaps having experienced something traumatic.

What went viral, was not her Facebook post – it was the recorded call a woman made to her. The other woman who had a British type of accent, called the white lady to ask about the dog. Firstly the British accent woman asked the white woman, how she knew the dog belonged to a white person. When the latter responded that one could simply see it, in that the dog seemed well cared for. The British accent woman referred to the “missing” dog as a Bitch throughout the conversation and ended the call by calling the white woman a Bitch. Honestly, she was very mean and seemed only to want to ridicule the white woman. Goal achieved. Everyone was laughing. The white woman later needed to switch off her phone due to all the harassment she was receiving.

Online bullying at it’s best!

If you read the article in the newspaper, you’d  find out why the white woman made such an ignorant post. At one point, some of her pet dogs were stolen. They only found the paws of these animals – whom she assumed had been eaten. Still no sympathy?

Yes, I hear you. We should be sympathetic to the people who have not enough food and thus eat dogs and cats. Poverty, it is a huge problem. But can you spare no sympathy for this woman, who happens to be married to a colored man (that’s someone of mixed heritage)?

In the newspaper article, the white lady apologized for her blunder. I doubt anyone was listening or reading for that matter. The article, after all, did not go viral. Only the phone call was broadcast to everyone—thanks to WhatsApp.


Which brings me back to the spotlight fever. What are we shining the light on? Sometimes an issue is much larger than the one part we highlight.

In my example, there were many issues. I mentioned: poverty, racism, online bullying, ignorance and a lack of general empathy. Depending on our own life experiences, we may have focused on only one of these. We may have been enraged at the white woman’s audacity. How could she think, people of a dark skin tone can’t take good care of their pets? It served her right to be treated by the British accent lady like that. It served her right, to be harassed. She should be, belittled for her mistake.

Or perhaps like me, you saw the lack of empathy people have shown. And you hope to all that is good, the spotlight which accentuates all your flaws, never falls on you. Just be careful what you say.

I was so afraid to even use the terms “white lady” & “black man”, even though they fit the frame of this story. Obviously, I still live in a world with many racial divides. I tend to see the cultural differences as beautiful, something to be proud of. Treat everyone with respect, is the kind of value I try to model to my children. However, in this world, you need to be politically correct – always. Or rather just keep your mouth shut.

What gives you the right to speak? Except for the light. It demanded something more than an inaudible squeak.

*above images credit to pixabay

 This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.

NanoPoblano 2017

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


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G is for Gratitude #AtoZChallenge on wellness

Gratitude. It should be right up there with X-Ray vision and super speed. The only problem with that statement is, that being thankful is an ability we all have. This makes it common, something that is taken for granted. Gratitude is a virtue we try to instill in our children from a young age. Nobody likes an ungrateful brat (whether that brat is “grown-up” or not). You hear about saying “thank you” in Sunday school. Heck, the Americans have an entire holiday dedicated to being thankful. Here “Thanksgiving” is something celebrated by some of the Christian churches. So, what makes gratitude so extraordinary? In addition, what makes it so important to our personal well-being?

Science versus age-old wisdom

I could tell you that scientists have researched the health benefits of gratitude. I could bore you with the medical research, which indicates it relieves stress and is good for your heart (amongst other things). Amazingly, enough science has finally caught up with age-old wisdom. To remind yourself to be thankful, you can buy yourself a customized gratitude journal. For those who blog there are weekly blog-hops dedicated to this cause! One of these is one I’ve been partaking in on and off since 2014. Seriously, Darling, it should not surprise anyone that I’m blowing the Gratitude trumpet.


The unexpected potency

I never realized how potent this thankful stuff could be. Annette Rochelle Aben first planted the seed when I listened to this podcast. She shared a powerful personal story about how gratitude helped her get up and walk, something to that point medically very difficult .

Similar to affirmations, gratitude can change our perspective to positively. Real genuine appreciation has an immediate effect. In my opinion, this makes it more valuable than using methods dubbed “affirmations or intentions”.

Gratitude can ground you in the beauty of the moment. It has the ability to bring your mind into the present. Breathing in gratitude can eliminate an anxiety attack, right there on the spot. It’s a chill pill, without the actual pill.

Pepperoni Pizza and the Dark Rider

Perhaps I just started talking Greek. Before you run off to the land of pepperoni pizza, let me explain. One night I was lying in a semi dark room tucking my daughter in for sleep. As I lay there, a terrible villain known as anxiety attacked my mind. The dark Rider had tipped his arrows in poison and was aiming for the heart. With accuracy, his vile toxin gripped its target, which started beating all the faster in hopes of escape (which is futile as anyone stuck in a similar situation would know). Never underestimate the power of the simple breath. I sucked in the air around me in a breathing exercise of inhalation and exhalation. I pulled my focus to my heart (heart chakra) and repeated the exercise sending the breath there. Annette’s story popped into my head. I intentionally started thinking about the things I was thankful for, right there at that moment. I had a warm bed into which to snuggle. I had a proper roof over my head. I was not hungry or thirsty. My daughter …

I was waging war on anxiety. It was not even ten minutes and the dark rider disappeared in a dark puff of smoke.

Real true genuine gratitude! Let it fill your heart and mind. It is a super power that can help you overcome the obstacles. Overcome the obstruction you face within your own mind. Anybody who struggles with anxiety and depression will know how valuable this is.

Further reading:

If this topic tickled your fancy you may like the article linked to the below pin.


About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:




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