Back in 2000, Mel Gibson starred in a movie titled “What Women Want.”
Gibson played the Alpha male, heterosexual man’s man with way too big of an ego called Nick Marshall. Nick gets bypassed for a promotion in favor of a woman. Problem is, while Nick may know how to get into a woman’s pants, better than any man alive he does not know what women want. Since he works for an advertising agency which needs to land a women’s brand contract, these pivotal question men have been asking for millennia is a must know to get the coveted job. In steps, Darcy McGuire played by Helen Hunt. One night in a desperate plight to understand why he was overlooked for the higher paying, corner office job, Nick tries on a bunch of women products and gets himself electrocuted. When he wakes up, he can suddenly hear the thoughts of all women.
Hence the stage is set for a romantic comedy, riddled with society’s clichés. It’s these clichés which make us laugh. We laugh at our own idiotic manner. Here we are a couple of years later and men still don’t know – what women want.
It’s this question this blog post will proceed to answer. Yes, I go with a single article where many a book have gone before. I’ll shrink it down in one universal, simple solution. Because after all, I am a woman. And there is one thing, so simple, so obvious it’s overlooked by many. It doesn’t matter what tone of skin she was born in, what continent she hails from. It doesn’t matter whether she’s an LA socialite or an African Mama, raising seven kids. Stop looking at your FaceBook and Twitter feeds for just a while, so I can show you this ageless secret. The secret of what women want, neigh what they crave.
But before I impart this timeless wisdom upon you, I would like to touch on the recent feminist hash-tag craze, #MeToo. Those watching my timeline may have noticed that I did not write #MeToo on my FaceBook page or wall. Neither did I tweet it nor up until this point, some time after all the hype has passed – even mention it.
Let me be clear, I as every other woman on this planet could have written that phrase on all my Social Media accounts in a big ugly bold font. And if I had put it on my Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook page, both of my Facebook walls, Pinterest and newly opened Ello page – I could have been referring to a different incident in each case. In actual fact given some thought, I could have come up with instances to put it on the Social Media I don’t have an account with, too.
The reason why I’ve held my tong is two-fold. For one, I don’t follow a craze – just because everyone else is doing it. The entire Internet was flooded with two words. A vital discussion indeed, but not the only problem in this world.
The other is that many of these #MeToo posts, status updates and the like are triggering to many people. Like everyone else who’s a frequent internet user, I read many of these posts. I read them and then some. I felt sorrow. I read many of the comments too. I saw so many bleeding hearts. But I also saw some trying to take the opportunity to inflate their already over-large ego. It may have been something you only notice if you looked at the trend, with some distance.
So I decided to tweet and write this on my FaceBook page, instead:
I really hoped those words would not be painful and triggering to the heart. However, after some contemplation, I realized that for some they may have been exactly that. You never know what may be triggering to someone. And if you are that someone, I apologize. Never the less, those words, hold true, in a very personal nonreligious way.
You may now have gotten agitated. In one moment I was going to reveal the biggest mystery to mankind, in the next I was discussing a feminist social media craze. These things are related. Because if men knew and gave women what they want, if indeed each and everyone one of us gave each and every one of us this very same thing, which is not restricted to what women want, but is something each human being wants – then we would not have had this hash-tag exploding across Social Media. #MeToo and all other similar hash-tags which have come before and will come again will be resolved with this one simple solution.
What women want, what I want, what you want, what we want, what each and every one of us craves – whether we are rich or poor, whichever tone of skin or gender we were born in, it is universal to us all.
What women want is . . .
Respect that she is not just tits and that thing between her legs. She is no lifeless doll.
Respect that she does not want to fear hunger, violence, pain or humiliation.
Respect that she does not want to be cold or alone.
Respect that she has her own mind, talents, and failings.
Respect that her body belongs to herself as does her life.
Respect that like you, she is human. I am human. We are human.
Talk to her like a human. Treat her like a human.
Stripped from all the clutter we have surrounded ourselves with we are each just human. That makes you or I no better or worse than anyone else, whether they be man, woman or child. While we may be better or worse off than someone else we are no better.
Respect encompasses equality and compassion. It does not say I am better than, but instead, acknowledges we are all in this together.
This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.
About the Author
Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.
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