Tag Archives: Culture

What women want

Back in 2000, Mel Gibson starred in a movie titled “What Women Want.”
Gibson played the Alpha male, heterosexual man’s man with way too big of an ego called Nick Marshall. Nick gets bypassed for a promotion in favor of a woman. Problem is, while Nick may know how to get into a woman’s pants, better than any man alive he does not know what women want. Since he works for an advertising agency which needs to land a women’s brand contract, these pivotal question men have been asking for millennia is a must know to get the coveted job. In steps, Darcy McGuire played by Helen Hunt. One night in a desperate plight to understand why he was overlooked for the higher paying, corner office job, Nick tries on a bunch of women products and gets himself electrocuted. When he wakes up, he can suddenly hear the thoughts of all women.


Hence the stage is set for a romantic comedy, riddled with society’s clichés. It’s these clichés which make us laugh. We laugh at our own idiotic manner. Here we are a couple of years later and men still don’t know – what women want.

It’s this question this blog post will proceed to answer. Yes, I go with a single article where many a book have gone before. I’ll shrink it down in one universal, simple solution. Because after all, I am a woman. And there is one thing, so simple, so obvious it’s overlooked by many. It doesn’t matter what tone of skin she was born in, what continent she hails from. It doesn’t matter whether she’s an LA socialite or an African Mama, raising seven kids. Stop looking at your FaceBook and Twitter feeds for just a while, so I can show you this ageless secret. The secret of what women want, neigh what they crave.

But before I impart this timeless wisdom upon you, I would like to touch on the recent feminist hash-tag craze, #MeToo. Those watching my timeline may have noticed that I did not write #MeToo on my FaceBook page or wall. Neither did I tweet it nor up until this point, some time after all the hype has passed – even mention it.

Let me be clear, I as every other woman on this planet could have written that phrase on all my Social Media accounts in a big ugly bold font. And if I had put it on my Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook page, both of my Facebook walls, Pinterest and newly opened Ello page – I could have been referring to a different incident in each case. In actual fact given some thought, I could have come up with instances to put it on the Social Media I don’t have an account with, too.

The reason why I’ve held my tong is two-fold. For one, I don’t follow a craze – just because everyone else is doing it. The entire Internet was flooded with two words. A vital discussion indeed, but not the only problem in this world.

The other is that many of these #MeToo posts, status updates and the like are triggering to many people. Like everyone else who’s a frequent internet user, I read many of these posts. I read them and then some. I felt sorrow. I read many of the comments too. I saw so many bleeding hearts. But I also saw some trying to take the opportunity to inflate their already over-large ego. It may have been something you only notice if you looked at the trend, with some distance.

So I decided to tweet and write this on my FaceBook page, instead:

I really hoped those words would not be painful and triggering to the heart. However, after some contemplation, I realized that for some they may have been exactly that. You never know what may be triggering to someone. And if you are that someone, I apologize. Never the less, those words, hold true, in a very personal nonreligious way.

You may now have gotten agitated. In one moment I was going to reveal the biggest mystery to mankind, in the next I was discussing a feminist social media craze. These things are related. Because if men knew and gave women what they want, if indeed each and everyone one of us gave each and every one of us this very same thing, which is not restricted to what women want, but is something each human being wants – then we would not have had this hash-tag exploding across Social Media. #MeToo and all other similar hash-tags which have come before and will come again will be resolved with this one simple solution.

What women want, what I want, what you want, what we want, what each and every one of us craves – whether we are rich or poor, whichever tone of skin or gender we were born in, it is universal to us all.

What women want is . . .


Respect that she is not just tits and that thing between her legs. She is no lifeless doll.
Respect that she does not want to fear hunger, violence, pain or humiliation.
Respect that she does not want to be cold or alone.
Respect that she has her own mind, talents, and failings.
Respect that her body belongs to herself as does her life.
Respect that like you, she is human. I am human. We are human.

Talk to her like a human. Treat her like a human.

Stripped from all the clutter we have surrounded ourselves with we are each just human. That makes you or I no better or worse than anyone else, whether they be man, woman or child. While we may be better or worse off than someone else we are no better.

Respect encompasses equality and compassion. It does not say I am better than, but instead, acknowledges we are all in this together.

This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO.

NanoPoblano 2017

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


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We can fix society, one story at a time

The screen is cracked. The screen of my cell phone, which I’m currently using to create this post, that is. Like a hideous spider web, it obscures my vision. Already used to the broken fragment, I swiped on.

With cell phones being so fragile, I’ve seen many a person walk 🚶 around with the same kind of blemish. Odd how quickly we adapt. We accept as normal. And I’m not just talking about the inconsequential cracked cellphone screen. Obvious. Maybe not.
After all, if everyone is doing it – then it is perfectly acceptable. I’m not just talking about drugs here. So if everyone comes to work late, it becomes perfectly acceptable to be late, each and every morning. Before your boss has whipped out his eyes, the company culture has changed.

child blowing bubble earth

What’s the big-y about culture?

Culture is something which governs our actions. What we find acceptable. What shocks us. How we react to things. This is why buzzwords such as ‘rape-culture’ are so big in our online discussions. What’s more, culture is formed by the collective experiences. I.e. What we believe, how we react to life is filtered by our past experiences. 

Did you know that storytelling creates experiences? Yes, and not just from a writer’s perspective. It only takes two different stories with a similar outcome to convince someone to rethink how they react towards that type of outcome. Two similar tales spun, and someone has gained a different experience. This in turn will not only determine his own perception, but changes the way others in the community think and act.

Think about that, for two tics.

Your stories, whether written or spoken can influence how someone else perceives the world. I’d like to hope all of us aren’t that impressionable. While stories may be used for the force of good, often they are used for the dark side.  How quickly your mind can change really depends on our point of reference. Your upbringing and your experiences.

Let’s say you are a woman. You hear from a friend about a guy whom you have never met, let’s call him Joe. Joe charmed your friend out of her socks, but got bored pretty quickly.
A few weeks later, another friend tells you she went on a date with Joe, but after a great night he never returned her calls. A random night out, you meet this Joe. Would you not approach Joe with caution? Perhaps avoid Joe altogether? What about if you met someone completely different who reminds you of Joe?
You get where I’m going here. Your friends shared experience, has become somewhat your own.

See how easy stories influence us?

If one guy gets away with a certain conduct, the next one will try a similar thing. Soon it becomes common.
Like my cracked cellphone screen, as a society we all too conveniently find some things acceptable.
I really don’t want to go into all the heartbreaking things this world has found acceptable. As mentioned, it’s sometimes the little things, such as coming to work late which rob us.

Sometimes, it takes some real strong-willed determination, not to do what everyone else finds perfectly acceptable.

The impact these stories of such strong-willed determination have on our society is sometimes the only thing that stands between us and degradation, impoverishment of the human condition.

Why? Because these uplifting stories give us a new point of reference.

While I’ve been terribly philosophical with this post, which certainly would have benefited in me being more specific, I hope it has at least given you some food for thought. Now, go forth and shine.

This post has been the tenth day of it does not need to be perfect a series I’m currently writing on this blog.

*child blowing bubble picture courtesy of pixabay.

About the Author

profile-pic-2Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.

Find her here:


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